COVID-19 restrictions and closures affect families differently.  We are all in the storm, but not all in the same boat.  It feels and looks different for individual families.

For my husband and I, semi-retired and empty-nesters, the changes are small ripples.  Our son and daughter-in-law insist on doing our shopping; so we don’t go to the store.  We aren’t traveling, seeing places and people.  I’m eager to experience again the joy of worshiping in person with fellow believers, visiting greenhouses, and resuming my inner healing practice with clients. Even though I feel the temporary restrictions of movement, it is easy for me to count the blessings in my boat.

For others, the quarantine means feeling stuck and bored, with nothing to do.  Boredom blocks us from seeing the potential, often hidden, blessings waiting to be discovered in the boat.

Yet for many, their boat seems ready to capsize in the tsunami.  The closing of schools, the closing of parks, forced social distancing, feeling confined to four walls, the loss of or reduced income, the juggling of responsibilities with the added responsibility of homeschooling is overwhelming.  When looking at those circumstances, it is hard to see any blessings. I remember being caught in overwhelming circumstances as a single mom, and how hard it was to maintain focus, to be thankful, and not to be dragged down.  And I didn’t have to deal with COVID-19! And so my heart goes out to all experiencing the threatening raging waters.

Many years ago I heard that if you practice the acronym “BEST” intentionally you will be amazed at what that does to your insides and to your relationships.  BEST stands for Blessed, Encourage, Share and Touch.

Blessed:  One of my favorite church songs growing up was “Count Your Many Blessings.”  The lyrics say “name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”  In the past few weeks, I’ve noticed birds singing as I walk.  Are there more birds, are they singing more, or am I just aware of them singing now?  What are your blessings?  Sunshine, rain, flowers, warmer temperatures, a wave from a neighbor, a stimulus check, food, eating meals together, laughter, a video call, etc?   At mealtime, have each family member say one or two things they are thankful for.  If you write them down and place them in a box, you will be surprised at the quantity, quality, and variety of blessings you have experienced by the end of the month.  Also, intentionally find ways to be a blessing to a family member or neighbor.  On April Fools Day, our three granddaughters “chalked” our driveway with their creative art.  This blessing was the next best thing to a hug! (I am eagerly anticipating being able to hug them again!)

Encourage: Our spirits long to know that we are loved, valued, and cherished.  We all know that encouraging words build us up and motivate us while negative comments close us down.  We withdraw and hide our true selves.  Make it a goal each day to find something positive to thank and encourage each person in your family.  Say “I like the way you ______;”

Share:  Each day, share a couple of “high points” of your day and a low, if there was one.  Besides giving the details of what happened, add to the story and “I felt _____.” The goal is to build a safe haven where we can be transparent and authentic, not having to hide what’s happening on the inside.  As we develop this habit, it helps keep communication flowing.   Some feelings feel good, others don’t feel good.  Don’t judge someone’s feelings by saying “oh, you shouldn’t feel that way.” Explore the feelings. Sometimes you will discover that the feelings are based on a lie or based on a fear. Replace the lies and fears with truth and with affirmations and opportunities.

Touch:  Psychological studies show that non-sexual touch is important for husband and wife relationships as well as relationships with our children and grandchildren.  Honestly, not being able to hug my kids and grandkids is super hard for me in this COVID-19 time frame.  Non-sexual touch affirms that we are seen, we are loved, we are valued.

Navigate your BEST boat during COVID-19 and into the future.  Be blessed and be a blessing; be encouraged (the sun still rose this morning!) and encourage; share yourself (we are all unique and valuable) and look forward to the day when handshakes and hugs are back in vogue!